Questions of lonely broken woman

How can you love someone so much,then its end,put out this act so long,start to believe your over it,then you see them happy with her like you have before,but this time you just snap,now you cant help feelin like another weak/broken girl dreamin of what couldve been,his voice in your head...how can you be over him,then... go back a thousand steps and be wallowing again...how? And to that how can you love him enough to give him that second chance and then know it will end the same with your heart broken again....how do you not see him everywhere and then when he goes off and does the worst thing b/c he can't live without you, how do you not blame yourself? 

This is to all my gurls out there who get used, cufused, and conflicted by the man they fell for.

So to all you women out there here is my topic for the week why do men have to be so hard to figure out. With them always having their guard up whether it is because they were cheated on, or used, or they cheated and they use women. I have two very good friends who are dealing with the guy they fell for and with one of my friends and for name sake we'll call her Hannah, well Hannah has been friends with this guy for like 9 years, 4 just friends, 2 1/2 friends with benefits, 2 1/2 close to dating only just testing the waters, 1/2 a year dating with out the labels. Well now he's going on about how he wants to be right for her with being the kind of guy she needs. FOR GOD SAKES MAN THE ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT IS TO ASK HER!!!! NOT BREAK UP WITH HER, IGNORE HER, AND PRACTICALLY RUN AWAY WHEN YOU SEE HER!!!! What is up with men like that? Then there is my other close friend which for names sake we will call Sammy. Well Sammy has been with this guy for 4 years and friends with him for 3 years prior to them dating and it has been almost puke worthy perfect. So perfect I practically wanted to puke seeing them all lovy dovy. Then two days ago he up and breaks up with her, no explanation other than he wanted to end it before things got bad. HOW CAN THINGS GO BAD WHEN YOUR IN LOVE LIKE THAT!?!?  I mean seriously, when your with someone like they were, I mean they talked every day. They texted 7 times a day, talked on the phone 2 times a day and were together the other part of the time, inseparable. And they always did they cutsy name thing, and the holding hands with his arm around her waist or neck, and pecked like every 5 minutes, and said I love you like every 10-15 minutes, it was sickening. But, I was so happy for her because she has had bad relationships before it was so nice to see her happy. It was nice to see both my best friends happy, then these guys broke thier hearts for no good reason it makes no sense to break up with someone over worrying your not good enough for the other person, you don't break up over that, you work it out with them. And you don't break up over worrying that it will turn sour when your so happy you worry about the here and now when it's that good. MEN YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM, SCRATCH THAT CAN'T LIVE LOVING THEM MAKES MORE SENSE FOR THIS AND FOR MYSELF SOMETIMES YOU HEAR GIRLS!

Just to warn you...

Well I have been out for a while only because I recently got my wisdom teeth surgically taken out and OMG it hurt, and that is putting it lightly. I am no wimp I was the girl who did stunts and fell, got scraps, burns, and stitches as a kid with no pain at all, no tears. Then I got my wisdom teeth out and I cried like a baby and had to take pain medication for it. It is still sore and it is practically healed, plus I still can't chew anything my teeth are so sore, yeah my teeth are too sore to chew anything other than jello, pudding, yogurt, pasta, and some soft breads. It really, really, really, really sucks so to all you out there who have not gotten your wisdom teeth out yet good luck and I feel your pain to those who had or are getting them out, but to those who don't have to (this next statement is not to be taken as a serious thing) I really hate you right now because you don't have to go through the pain of it and the weird sick feeling that goes along with taking the pain medications. Well I am off to bed to rest for a day of school shopping for my year at MATC. Night world!

My personal tid bit for the week I've missed blogging.......

Well I'm sorry I've missed a few days of blogging, but, I've had a hard time lately and I've been battling some.....well demons in my life, they are called men. You see I may be one of the few people that believe man and women are equal and in relationships we can't just blame one or the other it takes two to make a relationship work and two people to screw it up. Well I just went through one of the hardest good-bye's in my life, not the worst. The worst was when the woman I loved for 8 1/2 years died and in her will she didn't leave me anything and I had to hear it from someone else that if she would have survived the cancer she wasn't going to stay with me. Now this good-bye was with not just my boyfriend, but, also an old friend, as in the two I had recently talked about trying to choose one of them. Well I didn't have to choose, one of them, the one I had known for a long time as a friend that had moved back, well we got into a fight that I don't think either of us will ever forgive each other for what we said. It wasn't all my fault or his, it was an inevitable fight about his love for me and my love for someone else like it was when he moved away those four years ago. And as for my boyfriend, well he ended up hearing the fight and thought I was ready to start saying I love you again and I wasn't I don't know if I ever will be able to say I love you in that way to that special someone for a long time. I mean why does it have to be so hard to get over a heart break, and why is it that you put up this wall around your heart and the one person you finally let in destroys you? And with that why is it that when we think we've finally gotten over our heart break and have put back up our wall why can't we say I love you, and why can't it really be real to have that one person that's your other half, to have someone that completes you inside and out? Are the people like me who have been through soo much just scarred for life and unmendable, unable to ever be really put back together? Or is there really a person for each of us out there and we just have to wait til they come along? What do you think world?

Why the weird nicknames?

So my question today is what is up with guys having to call us chicks and asking for pussy among other terms? Well I'm just putting this out there that I think it's because they just feel weird or are embarrassed some how to say sex, vagina, penis/dick. So if they are appalled or grossed out or embarrassed to say those things then how do they think they sound saying they want pussy, or for a woman to suck their pickle, to say anything like that? And in such a question anyone who says those things must see how embarrassing it must seem to the rest of us to hear them talk like that sounding like some idiotic out of touch imbecile. So I want your opinion on they why for these weird and hilarious phrases for something so natural.